To begin, I love books on CD.
An unabridged novel, read with the intent and focus as created by the author, with tell volumes about that writer’s style. Those spoken words influence listeners because that's how we’re put together.
We began life as listeners.
We were read to as children. Or perhaps our listening experiences were limited to overheard conversations. Whichever is true, we developed our first communication skills from those early listening experiences.
Skip ahead to today.
The words we type have their origin in those early communication experiences. We share commonalities with people in our neighborhood, our town, our state. We’ve added experience and education to develop a unique voice and style. But there’s a potential problem.
Will our style and voice have limited audience appeal, or worse, no appeal beyond those in our inner circle?
In conversation we use redundancies. We use hand gestures and facial expressions to make our point. We use colloquialisms. When we write, our presentation has to change.
The general:
1) Delete the redundant, vague, and assumed.
You could write: “Trudy had worked up the courage to ask for a raise. She’d thought about it all morning and now she was going to do it. She got up from behind her desk, walked to his closed office door, and reached out to turn the door handle. When the door handle didn’t turn she realized she’d have to wait. She’d have to wait and work up the courage to ask her boss for a raise again when he came back.” That might be perfectly acceptable for many readers.
The repetition in the first two sentences gives urgency. But if you already had her behind her desk, why do you need to tell the reader she got up from behind her desk? And unless you are emphasizing the courage of movement or distance involved, you might not need to write she walked to the office door. And why say she reached out to turn the door handle? The reader will already know she has reached out when she discovered the handle locked. And why say “his closed office door” if she’s trying the handle? The door was obviously closed. And why repeat the reason she tried the handle in the first place? You’ve already set the reason and urgency in the first two sentences. The reader hasn’t forgotten.
This is far from a perfect example, but it’s something we do early on in our writing. We try to speak the words onto the page as if we were having a conversation with our cohorts.
With that said, I do suggest you read aloud the words you written, maybe record the reading to get a feel for what you’ve written. That helps take away the gestures and emotions you were imagining while you typed.
2) Use narrative, dialogue, and exposition to enhance your story.
I’ve written and read stories that are simple narratives. They convey emotions and events without losing any power or meaning. Dialogue novels exist, but they are a bit more challenging to read.
The mind requires occasional resets to contemplate and digest. In a narrative work or a traditional novel, we are given those moments to pause. When reading dialogue, the mind is more active. There are fewer pause moments, and, unless the dialogue is very engaging, we get lost in the tedium.
I’ve read excellent novels with three, four, and even five pages of continuous dialogue, but those were the exception. I’ve also read pages of dialogue that could have been better written as a single paragraph of exposition or narrative. Don’t create a massive weight of dialogue unless it moves the story forward more effectively than a well-placed bit of narrative or exposition.
3) Forget the rules of grammar.
While you don’t want to lose your readers by being too conversational, you don’t want to bore them by being too precise. Use of grammar that is “too perfect” is like listening to a lecture giving by someone in monotone. You keep hoping something is going to change, some slight inflection that will keep your mind from wondering. But it never happens. You get bored and lose track of what is being said or irritated and simply stop listening.
4) Stop the chop.
Combine sentences into extended thoughts. You might write, “I looked outside. I saw a kid chasing a butterfly. I remembered when I was a kid and smiled. I used to chase butterflies.” Write something more like, “I looked outside and saw a kid chasing butterflies. I smiled at the memory of sunny days and chasing butterflies.”
The specific:
When Tom Clancy wrote “The Hunt for Red October” he included a lot of technical information and language. A number of years ago, I had the chance to IM with one of the editors that had worked on the novel. She gave me insight into his motives.
Mr. Clancy wanted his novel to have wide appeal, but he also wanted it to sound authoritative. I took her advice to heart and tailored my then current writing project accordingly. You can read the results in my blog from June 11th – Pacified steel and the $5,300,000.00 box of donuts.
One huge difference between his story and mine was that his crisis had inherent intrigue and massive audience appeal. Mine would only interest readers who enjoyed chemistry and the properties of steel.
If you are writing for a specific group, tailor your language accordingly. Don’t include unnecessary details. Keep it simple when it needs to be simple. Make it technical when it needs to be technical.
I would hate to pick up a Chilton repair manual and have to slog through paragraphs of thoughts and feelings and reminiscences. Just tell me how to fix my car.
Likewise, I would hate to read a novel and get slogged down by inside industry info that doesn’t progress the story or is so specialized that I would have to do research to understand minor back-story points. That’s why I trashed my manuscript about industrial sabotage. I had so much back-story technical info and so much about the workings within a specific job class I was boring myself.
So what style and voice are you going to use?
If you are writing for kids its easier. A more conversational style will work. If you are writing for young adults, use more pop culture references in your dialogue. If you are writing for adults, use uncomplicated and non-redundant narrative. Use dialogue that is crisp and wouldn’t be better as narration.
Write in either first or third person depending on the message you are trying to convey. I enjoy writing in both. Changing style between projects allows me to explore aspects of my personality.
The third person author is the observer, seeing things their characters may not. The author brings the reader into the observation room for a peek at someone else’s reality.
The first person author is the empath, allowing themselves to explore powerful feelings and react to life changing events. They are the ones being observed and they aren't afraid to expose their underbelly to the reader.
Whichever way you write, keep writing.
My Click Here reading is one of my favorite scenes from my novel, Shadowman. The mood of the scene might have been influenced by the works of Chuck Palahniuk (Author of Fight Club, etc). The man depicted is a local politician and bad guy who has been involved in or responsible for several murders. Events have occurred to cause a break with reality. He has fled town and is in hiding.
I hope you enjoy.